AN IMPORTS GUIDE TO CELEBRATORY SWIMMING ETTIQUETTE
It’s that time of year where baseball in the USA steps into
high gear. Teams are aiming to finish the regular season strong and make the
post-season. Today in MLB, both the Boston Red Sox and the Los Angeles Dodgers
booked their spots in the Post-Season. Of these two teams, the Dodgers sparked
social media furore with what has now been dubbed Poolgate. The team, who
clinched the division playing away to their fierce division rivals the Arizona
Diamondbacks, were told to not celebrate on the field. So what is a team to do
in such circumstances? They chose to comply and take the party to the Outfield
pool of course!!! In a move that has been dubbed “Classless” the Dodgers climbed
the Outfield wall and took their party to the Diamondback’s swimming pool.
Outrage! Shock! Horror! Disgust!
The Diamondback’s own Brandon McCarthy was probably the most level headed when he said that if they don’t want them swimming in our pool, in future don’t let them beat us at home. Seems sensible, but the point still stands that the good folks in Arizona had their feelings hurt by the Dodgers Celebratory actions.
The Diamondback’s own Brandon McCarthy was probably the most level headed when he said that if they don’t want them swimming in our pool, in future don’t let them beat us at home. Seems sensible, but the point still stands that the good folks in Arizona had their feelings hurt by the Dodgers Celebratory actions.
So in an effort to not have the same sentiment sweep the ABL
this season, I have compiled an etiquette list of places players should NOT
swim/celebrate if they win the ABL Championship at an away venue. This list
should serve to assist the imports with how not to annoy the locals in each
teams home. We don’t want an Aussie team repeating the “class-less” display the
Dodgers gave us!
ADELAIDE BITE:
If the championship game is in Adelaide there are two places I would recommend not taking a celebratory dip. 1. The Great Australian Bight. The local team even derives it’s name from the waters of this particular coastline, so if you win here, stay away from the coast, it’s important to them. You should note it’s high population of Great White Sharks, so it’s probably in your own best interest to celebrate there. 2. Our friends in South Australia pride themselves on the wine in the Barossa Valley, so even though you may like crushing grapes, please refrain from swimming in the wine barrels and grape crushing pits. No celebrating in the barrels, please.
If the championship game is in Adelaide there are two places I would recommend not taking a celebratory dip. 1. The Great Australian Bight. The local team even derives it’s name from the waters of this particular coastline, so if you win here, stay away from the coast, it’s important to them. You should note it’s high population of Great White Sharks, so it’s probably in your own best interest to celebrate there. 2. Our friends in South Australia pride themselves on the wine in the Barossa Valley, so even though you may like crushing grapes, please refrain from swimming in the wine barrels and grape crushing pits. No celebrating in the barrels, please.
BRISBANE BANDITS:
I know what you’re thinking, “Bandits in the Finals?” but we must be prepared for any scenario, regardless of how unlikely. If there is championship games in Brisbane, please refrain from taking the party to the Brisbane River, it is solely reserved for late night skinny dipping of the drunken folks of fortitude valley. Another place to avoid celebratory swimming would be the Crocodile pools at Australia Zoo. The Late Steve Irwin is revered in those parts, and we don’t want to annoy the locals by taking a plunge with the pets of the great man.
I know what you’re thinking, “Bandits in the Finals?” but we must be prepared for any scenario, regardless of how unlikely. If there is championship games in Brisbane, please refrain from taking the party to the Brisbane River, it is solely reserved for late night skinny dipping of the drunken folks of fortitude valley. Another place to avoid celebratory swimming would be the Crocodile pools at Australia Zoo. The Late Steve Irwin is revered in those parts, and we don’t want to annoy the locals by taking a plunge with the pets of the great man.
CANBERRA CAVALRY:
If Canberra try to go all the way again and host the finals, please do not celebrate in the water feature outside Australian Parliament House. Yes, the water does look nice, and the “pool” is a product of beautiful architectural design, but it’s a nationally significant building and the locals don’t want your revelry there. Please also refrain from taking the celebrations to Lake Burley Griffin… that’s for locals only also, so no celebratory swim there either. Yes it is a man-made lake, but that man didn’t design it with visions of you taking your party to it’s murky depths.
If Canberra try to go all the way again and host the finals, please do not celebrate in the water feature outside Australian Parliament House. Yes, the water does look nice, and the “pool” is a product of beautiful architectural design, but it’s a nationally significant building and the locals don’t want your revelry there. Please also refrain from taking the celebrations to Lake Burley Griffin… that’s for locals only also, so no celebratory swim there either. Yes it is a man-made lake, but that man didn’t design it with visions of you taking your party to it’s murky depths.
MELBOURNE ACES:
In Melbourne, they pride themselves on being a world-class city, and as such the classy folk down south won’t take nicely to you sullying their regal river, the Yarra, with your classless celebration, if you win while they are hosting. That river is for refined hobbies like rowing, not hobbies like celebrating a hard fought victory. They also won’t like you celebrating with a dip at Brighton Beach. Yes, their fancy huts are a tourist must-see, but they don’t want to see your blue socks hung from them as you party in the water… In Melbourne, stay classy.
In Melbourne, they pride themselves on being a world-class city, and as such the classy folk down south won’t take nicely to you sullying their regal river, the Yarra, with your classless celebration, if you win while they are hosting. That river is for refined hobbies like rowing, not hobbies like celebrating a hard fought victory. They also won’t like you celebrating with a dip at Brighton Beach. Yes, their fancy huts are a tourist must-see, but they don’t want to see your blue socks hung from them as you party in the water… In Melbourne, stay classy.
PERTH HEAT:
Truth be told, it’s like a whole other country over there, and at times I think that’s the way they like it. But because it’s soooo far away, we aren’t 100% sure if they even have anything to swim in over there. The locals tell me there is a Swan River there, so out of respect, if that’s the extent of it, stay out of it. Along the Swan River they have Matilda Bay, and the Statue Eliza, and even she, a local, is poised above the water, frozen in time unable to get in the water… take that as a sign, if the Championship is in Perth, don’t Celebrate in Matilda Bay… even Eliza doesn’t do that!
Truth be told, it’s like a whole other country over there, and at times I think that’s the way they like it. But because it’s soooo far away, we aren’t 100% sure if they even have anything to swim in over there. The locals tell me there is a Swan River there, so out of respect, if that’s the extent of it, stay out of it. Along the Swan River they have Matilda Bay, and the Statue Eliza, and even she, a local, is poised above the water, frozen in time unable to get in the water… take that as a sign, if the Championship is in Perth, don’t Celebrate in Matilda Bay… even Eliza doesn’t do that!
SYDNEY BLUE SOX:
We don’t get offended by such trivial things… swim wherever you want, we may even throw in some suggestions! We have world famous beaches, a beautiful harbour… if it comes to it and your desperate, I even have a kiddie pool we can blow up for you, because let’s face it, celebrations should be unbridled! If you win away, more power to you!
We don’t get offended by such trivial things… swim wherever you want, we may even throw in some suggestions! We have world famous beaches, a beautiful harbour… if it comes to it and your desperate, I even have a kiddie pool we can blow up for you, because let’s face it, celebrations should be unbridled! If you win away, more power to you!
Hopefully, with around 40 days to go til the ABL season
starts, we SHOULD, in theory, start to hear rosters reports and the like. And
if that does happen, I can stop writing trivial fluff like this, and get down
to REAL baseball talk, but in the absence of anything coming out of the ABL, you’re
stuck with the fluff for the time being.
What's your take? Celebrate where you want or Respect the Home side's place? Hit me up on Twitter @ObiDan26
